Difficulty with Verbal Communication

Pause and Take a Deep Breath

When you start to feel overwhelmed or unable to communicate, take a moment to calm yourself.

• Breathe deeply: Focus on taking slow, deep breaths to help reduce anxiety. Inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and exhale for four seconds.

• Give yourself a moment: It’s okay to pause for a second. Rushing to speak when you're anxious can increase stress, so take time to think.

Recognise the Trigger

Try to identify what’s making it difficult for you to communicate. Recognising the trigger can help you manage it better.

• Sensory overload: Are there too many noises or distractions around you? If so, ask for a quieter space or use noise-cancelling headphones if available.

• Anxiety: Is the situation causing you anxiety (e.g., a social interaction, a stressful environment)? Acknowledging that you're feeling anxious can help you better manage your emotions.

• Difficulty processing words: Are you struggling to find the right words or getting stuck mid-sentence? This happens sometimes when there’s a disconnect between what you want to say and what comes out.

Use Non-Verbal Communication (If Possible)

If speaking feels too difficult, you can use non-verbal methods to communicate.

• Gestures: Use hand gestures or facial expressions to convey your feelings or responses. Pointing or nodding can help get your message across.

• Written communication: If you're able to, consider writing things down on a piece of paper or using a phone or tablet to type your message.

• Sign language: If you are comfortable with it, using sign language can be a helpful form of non-verbal communication.

• Pictures or symbols: Some people find it easier to communicate through pictures or symbols, such as those used in augmentative and alternative communication (AAC).

Use Simple and Direct Language

If you’re able to speak but are struggling to form complete sentences, try using shorter, simpler phrases.

• Keep it brief: Focus on the core message. You don’t have to say everything perfectly—just express what’s necessary.

• Ask for help: If you’re stuck, you can simply say, “Can you help me with the words?” or “I’m having trouble speaking right now.”

• Use familiar words: Stick to words and phrases you are comfortable with. If you're in a conversation, try to steer it toward topics you know well.

Request a Break If Needed

It’s completely okay to take a step back if verbal communication is overwhelming.

• Ask for a pause: If you feel like you're struggling, politely ask for a moment to collect your thoughts. You can say, “I need a minute,” or “I’m finding it hard to talk right now.”

• Take a break: If the situation allows, step away from the conversation or environment for a brief time. A change in surroundings can help reset your mind and reduce anxiety.

Use a Script or Pre-prepared Phrases

Sometimes, it can be helpful to have a set of phrases or a script ready for difficult situations.

• Prepare in advance: If you know you might be entering a situation where communication will be challenging, write down some key phrases that you can refer to.

• Use cue cards: If you struggle to remember what to say in stressful moments, keep a small card or note with important points or phrases written down to guide you.

Let the Other Person Know About Your Communication Needs

It’s okay to let others know that you're struggling with verbal communication. This helps them be more patient and understanding.

• Explain briefly: You can say, “I have difficulty speaking sometimes, so it might take me a moment to respond,” or, “I have anxiety and need some space to talk.”

• Use body language: If saying this out loud feels difficult, use body language to convey your need for understanding (e.g., pausing and gesturing that you need a break).

Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself. It’s easy to feel frustrated or embarrassed when you’re struggling with verbal communication, but remember that it’s okay to have moments of difficulty.

• Acknowledge your effort: Recognise that you’re doing your best in a challenging situation. You’re trying to communicate, and that effort matters.

• Avoid self-criticism: If you're unable to communicate in the way you hoped, try not to judge yourself. Negative self-talk can make it harder to manage the situation.

Consider Seeking Help from a Professional

If verbal communication is frequently difficult for you, you might want to consider working with a speech therapist or another professional.

• Speech therapy: A speech therapist can help with verbal communication challenges and offer tools for improving fluency and clarity.

• Support groups: Sometimes joining support groups can help you connect with others who may face similar challenges and share strategies.

Reflect on the Experience

After the situation has passed, take some time to reflect on what happened.

• What worked well? Think about any strategies you used that helped, such as using simple phrases, taking a break, or writing things down.

• What could be improved? Consider what made the situation difficult and what you could try differently next time.

• Reward yourself: Acknowledge that it’s okay to have tough moments, and celebrate any small successes in communication.

Final Thoughts

Struggling with verbal communication can be stressful. However, by using these steps—such as pausing, using non-verbal communication, simplifying language, and seeking help when needed—you can navigate these moments more easily. Remember to be patient and compassionate with yourself, and know that it’s okay to ask for help whenever needed. You’re doing your best, and that’s what matters.