Politely Declining an Event

Acknowledge the Invitation

When you receive an invitation, it’s always nice to acknowledge it positively, even if you know you can’t attend. This shows appreciation for the invite.

Example responses:

• “Thank you so much for inviting me!”

• “I really appreciate you thinking of me.”

This helps start the conversation on a positive note, even if you need to say no.

Be Honest (But Brief) About Why You Can’t Attend

It’s important to give a simple and honest reason why you can’t attend, especially if the event would cause you stress or discomfort. You don’t need to go into too much detail, just enough to explain your decision politely.

Example reasons to give:

• “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, so I think I need some time to relax.”

• “I’ve been managing a lot lately and I think I’ll need to stay home to recharge.”

• “I’m not able to make it, but I really appreciate the invite.”

It’s fine to say that you simply can’t attend because you need time to yourself. You don’t have to give a complex reason, just one that makes sense for you.

Express Regret

You don’t want to sound dismissive, so expressing regret is important. You can say that you would have liked to attend but can’t for whatever reason.

Example responses:

• “I’m really sorry to miss it, it sounds like it’s going to be a great time.”

• “I wish I could join, but it’s just not the right time for me.”

• “I would have loved to come, but I just can’t manage it right now.”

This shows that you genuinely appreciate the invitation, even if you can’t attend.

Offer a Possible Alternative (Optional)

If you feel comfortable, you can suggest another way to stay in touch or offer a future meet-up. This lets the other person know that while you can’t attend this time, you’re still interested in keeping the relationship going.

Example alternatives:

• “Maybe we can get together another time, just the two of us.”

• “I’d love to catch up when I’m feeling a bit better.”

• “Let’s plan something for next month when I’m not so busy.”

This step is optional, but it can show you’re still interested in maintaining the connection.

End with Gratitude

To wrap things up, you can express gratitude again to reinforce your appreciation for the invite. This leaves the conversation on a positive note.

Example responses:

• “Thanks again for inviting me—I hope you all have a wonderful time!”

• “I’m really grateful for the invite, I hope you have a great event.”

• “Thank you for thinking of me, I hope it goes really well!”

This keeps the tone polite and appreciative, even if you're not able to attend.

Example Responses

Here are a few example responses you can use:

For a casual event (e.g., gathering or dinner):

• "Thank you so much for the invite! I’m afraid I won’t be able to come because I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. I hope you all have a great time, and I’d love to get together another time when I’m feeling better!"

For a more formal event (e.g., wedding or party):

• "I really appreciate the invitation, and I’m honored that you thought of me. Unfortunately, I’m unable to attend this time, but I hope you have a wonderful day and everything goes smoothly!"

For a spontaneous invite (e.g., going out with friends):

• "Thanks so much for asking! I’m going to have to pass this time as I need some time to relax. I hope you all have a fun time, and let’s catch up soon!"

Set Boundaries (If Needed)

If you feel that the person may pressure you or ask again, it’s important to set a firm but polite boundary. You can repeat your original reason and be clear that you're not able to attend.

Example:

• “I’ve thought about it, but I really need some time for myself this weekend. I hope you understand, and I’m sure we’ll have another chance to hang out soon.”

Setting boundaries helps ensure that the person understands your decision, while still being respectful.

Final Thoughts

• Practice Self-Compassion: It’s okay to say no. You are not obligated to accept every invitation, especially if it affects your well-being. Prioritise your mental health and well-being.

• Be Firm But Polite: You don’t need to give a lengthy explanation. A simple, respectful refusal is enough.

• Consider the Other Person’s Feelings: While it’s important to be true to your own needs, it’s also nice to express appreciation for the invitation. This helps soften the response.

By following these steps, you can politely and respectfully decline an invitation without causing any discomfort for either party.